Comments on: Keith’s Karmic Kaftan http://darkportraits.com/keiths-karmic-kaftan/ In every story we see a reflection of ourselves Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:54:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: xtien http://darkportraits.com/keiths-karmic-kaftan/comment-page-1/#comment-9 xtien Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:54:46 +0000 http://darkportraits.com/?p=91#comment-9 I like the idea of what you're doing here Andrew. I especially like this as a personal assignment that you're sharing with us both to keep yourself honest and to get feedback. Good choice. I like this story too. Interesting flow. One of my favorite lines: "She’d dealt with kinky boys before. This was just dumb." A couple of suggestions: 1. Do a couple of passthroughs before you post the stories. You've got a couple of sloppy errors that will frustrate readers and keep them from returning (ex: “So what are you were worried about?”). If I don't feel like it was worth your time to edit it, will I feel like it was worth my time to read it? Unless editing it falls outside of the rules of this exercise, which leads me to... 2. I'd like to see a quick and dirty explanation of the rules of what you're up to here, right at the top or on the border. I don't want to have to hunt for it. Something like, "Micro fiction. Every day. In under an hour." Or whatever the parameters are. (If I've missed it, apologies.) Keep it up! -xtien I like the idea of what you’re doing here Andrew. I especially like this as a personal assignment that you’re sharing with us both to keep yourself honest and to get feedback. Good choice.

I like this story too. Interesting flow. One of my favorite lines: “She’d dealt with kinky boys before. This was just dumb.”

A couple of suggestions:

1. Do a couple of passthroughs before you post the stories. You’ve got a couple of sloppy errors that will frustrate readers and keep them from returning (ex: “So what are you were worried about?”). If I don’t feel like it was worth your time to edit it, will I feel like it was worth my time to read it? Unless editing it falls outside of the rules of this exercise, which leads me to…

2. I’d like to see a quick and dirty explanation of the rules of what you’re up to here, right at the top or on the border. I don’t want to have to hunt for it. Something like, “Micro fiction. Every day. In under an hour.” Or whatever the parameters are. (If I’ve missed it, apologies.)

Keep it up!

-xtien

]]> By: Scooter onderdelen http://darkportraits.com/keiths-karmic-kaftan/comment-page-1/#comment-8 Scooter onderdelen Sun, 10 Jan 2010 09:29:42 +0000 http://darkportraits.com/?p=91#comment-8 Maybe a bit of a strange reply, but I like the template you use and I really wanted to let you know! With some nice posts this blog is really good :) Maybe a bit of a strange reply, but I like the template you use and I really wanted to let you know! With some nice posts this blog is really good :)

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